It was 10 years since my "Brave Little Toaster" passed away and my husband forgot while making lunches to pack mine. I knew my day was going downhill then, but nothing prepared me for how bad it would get...
I never in a million years expected to be sitting here on a Wednesday morning taking a break from applying to jobs and writing about being "laid-off". The shock and anguish have worn off, but now I'm in a phase where I could kick myself for not looking sooner, (like when I started getting "bored" or when we learned how far behind the employees we hired were on the contract deadlines-- we were definitely a sinking ship). Instead, I watched as our vessel hit its metaphorical iceberg and then was among the first passengers to be lost. They discontinued our "counseling" position to horde away some extract money. They let go of over 25 employees on the first cut. My severance didn't even cover the rest of this month. Student loans, rent, bills, groceries, and a fur baby don't really allow you to be income-less, so I hope unemployment isn't too difficult to figure out and anything I've applied to gets back to me soon.
Princess Diana once said, "... it was also a situation where you couldn't indulge in feeling sorry for yourself: you had to either sink or swim. And you had to learn that very fast.”
That quote always resonated with me. So much so, that in high school I used her for National History Month and made an entire website about her. Not sure it exists anymore... *shrug* I am sure, however, that I spent a lot of time these last three weeks trying to figure out how to stay afloat. Unemployment hasn't kicked in yet and there's never a representative available to "talk" when I call to figure out what's holding it up (I got my approval letter, so..) and don't even get me started on their "message us" section. "Please allow 6-7 days for a response..." Bull! I've been waiting for a response since the 7th.
So after 3 weeks, what am I doing with myself? Let me tell you, I’m doing more and better than I ever anticipated! Sure I stress about the finances and getting these payments sorted out so I can start acquiring some sort of income in this time, but I haven't let that eat away at me (not yet, at least). Instead, my days are consumed by a schedule that typically goes something like this:
7:00AM- 1 hour of job searching and applying while I lie in an amazing queen sized Zinus bed
8:00AM- get up and start my "morning routine"
8:15AM- put away last night's dishes and make breakfast
9:00AM- housework and classwork (yes, I've enrolled in several classes)
11:00AM- shower and "jam session" (don't judge me! I have strobe lights in my shower!)
12:00PM- make lunch and do the morning/afternoon dishes
FREE TIME: this is comprised of going to the gym/home exercises, more job searching, hanging with Cookie, figuring out dinner, reteaching myself how to play the guitar, visiting my family, and running errands
4:15PM- start prepping dinner
5:30PM- set the table and serve dinner
6:30PM- put away the day's dishes and help Will complete cleaning dinner dishes
FREE TIME: this is comprised of watching TV or streams, playing some video games together, reading, singing or playing some of our various instruments, playing with Cookie if she's not sleeping, etc.
9:45PM- it's lights out for bun bun and we give her "bed time snack" before heading to bed for the night (some nights I even get to read again!)
I didn't know how I'd survive being home all day when I was first laid-off, but now I'm seeing why "work from home" jobs are so popular today. Haha! Not only is this more relaxing and it gives a great work/life balance, but on the weekends or even the weeknights I feel more up to going out and socializing. I feel energized and more appreciative of the time I get to be out of the house. It doesn't feel like I'm forcing myself to do anything which in itself feels great. Which leads me back to that quote by Princess Diana...
Sinking is out of your control. Even the best swimmer if left in the ocean too long will eventually sink. And swimming? Swimming is exhausting! Especially when you're doing it to save your life!
So what if there was a third option? What if the boat never sank? What if we were the captains of our ships? Easier said than done when so much of our every day life is directed by other necessities and people. But in the last three weeks I've decided that I'm not going to settle anymore. My body is my vessel and from now on, I am my own captain-- I am the one who chooses the direction of my sails and what waters we take on.
With that all said, if anyone knows of any "work from home" gigs that are actually A+, please let me know! I'll check them out during my morning job searches. And if anyone knows anything about unemployment, please reach out! I could use the assistance...
As always! Take another sip and have a great day!
Me♥
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