Today was the first day of a brand new year and for the first time in a long time, I had a good feeling entering this one. 2019 is going to be important to me, not simply because I am getting married (though let’s face it, that’s a huge deal; especially when you grew up thinking that would never happen).
No. I feel like this will be a year of change. Beginnings and endings (for good purpose). Full of hope and potential; lessons and memories to be made. Predictably and realistically it will have some not so bright and happy moments, (notably, my fiancé and I may lose his aunt to her battle with pancreatic cancer) but that’s not to say there won’t be a rainbow behind those storm clouds.
They said 2018 was the 4th wettest year on record in over a decade (longer for certain cities)… Well I predict more sun this year. More light— metaphorically and literally. I predict the new year will bring about more than we anticipated, both in ourselves and in the world. Stay aware. Take notice. Be present. It’ll be there.
Today I looked at an apartment that while it may be more expensive than I’d like to pay may end up being my new “home”. I admit, growing up so close with my family, moving out seems terrifying. I know this year will bring me anxiety and melancholy, sadness and frustration, but I know every moment of this year will bring me closer to all I’ve been working so hard for.
My 27th year may not officially begin until February, but I declare it starts today! “New year, new me”: I let go of all negative thoughts, habits, and people. I will work hard, worry less, and carry myself with confidence. I will work on my health and take care of myself (which will include trips to doctors I may not want, but I know it’s best). I will make strides and changes. I will be a better version of me, and by the end of the year be the best version of a wife that I can be.
2019, I’m ready!
So it is officially Day 2 of 365...
and 305 days until I become a "Golden Girl"!
It's crazy to think about how when we were young weeks felt like an eternity and suddenly entire years fly by before our eyes and before we know it were $1000's deep in a mid-life crisis. How does that happen? Maybe it's that our brains develop a greater concept of time. Or maybe we become so inundated by work, eat, sleep, repeat that it all just blends together until we hit the 'new year" and reflect on a grey blur of days that all seems the same. And really though, is that any way to live?
I learned two years ago that my sister has an existential dread of the new year. She hates the idea of time slipping away, and yet she sleeps 10-12 hours on the weekends. She blames her sleep on that vicious cycle we are all in-- work, eat, sleep, repeat... How do we stop that? How do we make this year the year we stop saying "It will be better" and instead make it the year of, "It is better."?
Presence.
Shut off work when you leave and turn on "me time" or "family time". It sounds hard, but it's not. I promise. As someone who once struggled with that myself, I can tell you that it is doable. Playing a little music on the commute home or 15-mins of meditation; a hobby waiting for you at home or a pet; yes, even a 20-minute nap before dinner so you physically shutdown... You need to not only distract other thoughts from entering your brain, but you have to actively focus on something else; something more important to you that grabs your attention.
And if you don't make a resolution to do anything else this year, make your goal to be present more, for you and family. It does wonders for your physical and mental health. trust me!
If anyone has any topic they'd like to read about this year, please let me know. I'm open to suggestions.
Happy New Year, all!